Examples of Self-Conscious Shopping

Imagine working at a supermarket checkout and a customer approaches with only one item.
You check out the customer.
You check out the item.
You put two and two together and think: “Yup… you waited too long to buy this you cheap bastard.”

Buying flowers the day after Valentines Day.

Buying Chapstick with chapped lips.

Buying Johnson’s Clean & Clear face wash and scrub with a terrible pimple breakout.

Buying Listerine mouthwash with terrible breath.

Buying a cheap razor with crappy 4-day old stubble.

Buying a box of plasters with cut fingers.

Truth be told: I’ve done at least 4 of these things.

For John Crozier.